therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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