Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
