after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
