Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Too much gin, very little bucket
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
