p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
