Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
