I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
