i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
