Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
