I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
