Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize