I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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