Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
