He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize