Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
