perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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