yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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