OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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