We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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