I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize