Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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