did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wish i was in the wii world.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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