Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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