And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
