I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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