never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
