Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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