it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
