Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
