it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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