At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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