I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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