3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
