I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
