May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My life is pants optional.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
