rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize