I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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