They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
