mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize