My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
