Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
