So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
