hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
