I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
