I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
