I want to have your abortion
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
