Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
