I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
