Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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