I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
