I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
