i think my mom watched the whole time
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
