Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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