In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
