She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
